Why You Should Replace "Discipline" With "Commitment"

Happy New Year friends!

As we step into a new year, we are challenged to commit to a newly chosen path and make it a regular part of our daily life. I often hear students express that they have difficulty motivating themselves to move their body every day, read more, eat cleaner, walk more, meditate more, or they struggle to watch TV less, doom-scroll less, and avoid or eliminate other unproductive activities and behaviors. Commonly I hear, “I just don’t have any discipline.”

Here is an important and beneficial tip for your mental health in the new year: replace the word “discipline” with “commitment.”

Commitment radically differs from discipline as commitment is entirely intentional. Discipline however is imposed from the outside – it suggests something one ‘should’ do. Discipline feels operational and punitive. Conversely, commitment comes out of an inner and personal choice we make with our own intentions.

The standard dictionary definition of the word discipline is as follows:

Verb:

1) Training that corrects, molds, or perfects moral character; to punish or penalize for the sake of enforcing obedience and perfecting moral character.

Noun:

1) Control gained by enforcing obedience or order;

2) Orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior;

3) Punishment.

Ouch!

Here is the standard dictionary definition of the word commitment:

Noun:

1) A pledge or a promise;

2) Dedication, allegiance;

3) The act of pledging or engaging oneself.

If you tell yourself you need more discipline, likely you sense you need to ‘punish’ yourself into pulling something off. You might perceive a “lack of discipline” in your extra calorie intake, inadequate sleep schedule, lack of exercise regimen, or inability to stick to a certain lifestyle choice. There's a commonly shared idea that if we could just control our “unruly selves” and had more discipline, we’d be much better off. We’d be more lovable, richer, thinner, anything-er. And we might feel better in general about ourselves. Discipline can become a debilitating tool for keeping us out of our own power. Commitment on the other hand fills us with power! It grows from our own soul and will - it is intentional.

Process v. Outcome.

Commitment is about the process rather than the outcome. Discipline is all about the outcome or the goal - sometimes no matter the cost physically, emotionally, or otherwise. It is healthier for us to commit to a practice, a new lifestyle choice, and/or a new ritual because we intend to and not because we are supposed to do such chosen action.

As we move into this new year, where do you want to make a commitment to yourself? Do you want to commit to:

• Moving your body every day? If more movement is your committed ‘outcome’ or ‘goal,’ decide to take 10 minutes every day to walk, dance, or stretch.

• Eating a cleaner diet? If you desire better nutrition, limit sugar and processed foods.

• Spending less time on screens and more time with friends and family? Put your phone on airplane mode for several designated times throughout the day. Or choose to ‘cut off’ screen time at an earlier hour.

Small, simple lifestyle changes are what lead to lasting changes. I recommend you choose one thing that you want and commit to the process of getting there - the journey itself, not the destination or ‘end goal.’ Stay the course, feel pride in your power and selection, and, for heaven's sake, don’t ‘discipline' yourself into submission.