Grief, Heartbreak, And Loss

I buried my friend Jay yesterday - along with almost a thousand other people who loved him. I am heartbroken and grieving this loss - for his wife and children, his parents, his entire loving family and community, all of his patients, the babies he brought into this world, and for me.

His death has left a huge hole in my heart, a loss in my life and the lives of so many others. We were friends for 40 years. He was one of the most beautiful, unique, funny, wonderful human beings I have ever known. He was healthy, happy, curious, active, loving, and extremely generous. He should have lived to grow old with his wife, watch his boys become men and have children of their own, held his grandchildren in his arms, and continued the powerful work he did in this world with the enormous impact it had on so many.

He loved exploring the world with his wife and sons, with his positive and exuberant spirit, he loved to be silly and playful and have fun with everyone he knew. He loved teaching young residents and educating them on how to offer the best possible care. He cried genuine tears of joy with every single one of the thousands of babies he brought into this world. He always drove with blankets and clothes in his car and handed them out to whatever unhoused person he saw. His gifts to the world were boundless.

There is no sense in a death like this. No reason. Please tell the people in your life you love them. Every day. Call them on the phone, nurture the meaningful relationships in your life. Be grateful for every day you wake up living and breathing.

In Jewish tradition we say, “May his memory be a blessing.” While I don’t want this reality to be true, it is true and I must accept it and continue to move forward with him in my heart and mind, to talk about him and carry on the beauty of his memory. The blessing that has been knowing and loving him. The blessing that so many others have experienced through knowing and loving him.

Jay - I just saw you a week ago, hugged you, caught up with you, filled up my tank with your love and friendship. I will always be grateful for the blessing of you, I will always carry it with me. And I will miss you so...