Menopause: Embracing the Journey

One can hold a philosophical belief and yet still struggle with incorporating that belief into their own lives. The two are not mutually exclusive – they can co-exist. An example of what I mean: Like so many others, I have struggled with body image issues my entire life as well as times of disordered eating. Yet I believe that all women should be celebrated for their beauty, power, and magnificence at any size, weight, age, shape, form. So you see both of these things are true – the philosophical belief and the struggle with incorporating it for myself. And such holds true for my decision to publicly discuss my menopausal journey.

So in honor of women's health, and mental health awareness, here we go.

There is such weight attached to the word “menopause.” For centuries, women have lived underneath a cultural stigma of what it means, why we should hide, fear, or at the very least, stay quiet about it. This stigma is incredibly unhelpful as women have been shamed and branded with it for years, with little understanding of what impact it really has on our lives, and importantly, our mental health. Media and popular culture sells the image of a woman going crazy during menopause. We use terms like “the change” with a deep-rooted history of losing our femininity, our relevance, a time when a woman’s purpose stops because her ovaries are no longer of value and her body is now aged. How can we not internalize this?!

And honestly, it is in fact a difficult subject about which to speak openly without having some fear and anxiety – which is why I’m doing it.

I have long been an educator and practitioner of all things mind-body. I have always been invested in my own health and wellbeing and considered myself to be “extremely healthy.” Yet through much of my 40’s, I didn’t pay too much attention to some of the messages my body was sending me. But we teach best what we most need to learn…

I grew up in the 80s, a time when words and phrases like “no pain no gain” and “nonfat” were celebrated. Plus I have always been something of an overachieving perfectionist workaholic, on top of that, I am a care-taker and an empath.

It’s no surprise that by my mid-to-late 40s I had a breakdown (a subject for another blog). It was time to take a deeper dive. I explored meditation, functional medicine, and integrative nutrition. The good news is, my western docs also have a very integrative mindset. In fact it was my primary care doctor who finally got me to start meditating regularly — a game changer. My Ob/Gyn referred me to an integrative nutritionist — which changed everything. Through much investigation into my own biology — comprehensive lab work, genetic testing, and therapy — I learned so much! I discovered through this self-exploration that I was indeed going through peri-menopause, which I now know can last many years for some people.

I made big changes to my diet which included adding lots of healthy fat. I now know it is essential to every single part of our health. I stopped eating gluten and most dairy. I never was a red meat eater, but I became even more of a “plant-based pescatarian.” This is also when I started meditating regularly and finally ended a very unhealthy long-term relationship. However I still worked like a crazy person. And I didn’t have what I had thought to be the “typical” peri-menopausal symptoms (no hot flashes, night sweats, etc.)

How I Realized I Was Entering Menopause

It wasn’t until I was 51 and the world was about a year into the pandemic, that I started to have brain fog, insomnia, and weight gain. I was self-conscious, depressed, anxious, and generally unhappy - physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Thanks to maintaining regular labs and healthcare provider appointments (and therapy of course), I discovered I was in menopause. 

My response was very mixed. While partly I was relieved, as there was so much validation knowing that what I was going through was normal and all a part of it, I was also self-conscious about what it meant. Was I going to lose my femininity? My sex drive? Does my body look unattractive and will I start aging quickly? Mainly I wanted to do everything I could to support my hormone health.

Through very informed and wise data and support from my entire team of healthcare providers, and based on what I knew to be true for myself, I started hormone replacement therapy. Gulp. Saying that within the world of health and wellness can also be stigmatic.

But just like biology, the menopause experience is different for everyone. I soon discovered that for me the greatest myth about menopause was that hormone replacement therapy — HRT — is “bad for you” no matter what. Not true! Just like our biology and biochemistry changes from month-to-month, year-to-year, and so on, we are all extremely different from each other. Our personal bio-identity, life experiences, and health risks are just that — personal to each of us.

After starting HRT my life improved significantly. I started sleeping better, my brain functioned better, and I generally had more energy. This all led to more motivation, more mindful and intuitive eating and moving, and generally more TLC. Rather than thinking I was required to move a certain way on any given day, or eat a certain thing, I listened to the messages my body sent me, and I continue to do so. HRT helped me find the real ‘me’ again. Knowledge combined with intuition is both powerful and empowering. 

Finding Empowerment Through Menopause

The most valuable lesson I have learned is that when I feel empowered, I make empowered choices — choices that support my own well-being, the health of my own mind, body, heart, and brain. I continue to practice saying yes to myself first as opposed to pleasing or worrying about others. I am the one living in this body, and I make wise choices based on valid information and deep intuition. 

Perhaps the biggest change for me is that now, most of the time I feel more empowered and less fearful than ever before. In fact I feel perhaps for the first time that I am truly coming into my own power. I am learning to love my physical body exactly as it is and practice greater self-compassion. And when the ebbs and dips come, which they inevitably do, I am better able to manage my way through. I recognize my own resilience and resourcefulness. I believe this empowerment and sense of self has been the most significant difference between peri-menopause and menopause. 

I continue to support the journey through eating clean, nutrient-dense foods that I love and love me back. I move my body all the time based on how I feel rather than how I think I “should.” I practice meditation regularly, and do my best to love every part of myself along the way.

IF I CAN IMPART ANY GUIDANCE, IT WOULD BE TO GATHER AS MUCH INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR OWN BIOLOGY AS POSSIBLE.

You deserve to be listened to and for your personal symptoms to be acknowledged. You deserve evidence-based advice to facilitate informed decisions on your current and future health. Pair that with your deep intuition — listen to the messages your body is sending you. Ask yourself what movement would feel good to me today, what foods do I love that indeed love me back? Investing in extra self-care should be a number one priority during this constantly changing experience, and that means something different for everyone. However certain practices are important staples for all of us — drinking plenty of water, eating clean, nutrient-dense food, moving our bodies regularly, quality sleep, and time with loved ones. All of this will support you to make the changes that will help to restore and maintain a greater a sense of wellbeing and empowerment. 

Our bodies and the way they are constantly adapting to maintain homeostasis and equilibrium, are remarkable, and our job is simply to provide the optimal fuel, environment, and lifestyle choices to enable these incredible processes to happen. Time to embrace and celebrate the journey.